In thinking about day care (or mass baby sitting) with a touch of conspiracy, I realized that the idea of the state raising all the children is almost realized. Day care providers take the role of surrogate parents in a very real way.
With almost no idealistic push at all, parents no longer have any say over morals, religion, ethics, skills, or any other traditional parenting role, this is being placed on the day care. In order to stay uncontroversial, day care (and schools) sanitize any mention of specific religion beliefs or anything else that can vary from family to family. In essence it takes away the individuality created by a warm loving home and replace it with a "safe place" that children spend all day. Since day care is regulated by the government, it is not much of a stretch to "regulate" specific beliefs and morals, completely removing God.
The part I find most odd is that parents are choosing it, and it is not being forced by governmental decree. I know of several parents who leave their children half asleep at the day care usually quite early so they will not be late to work. Then they come to pick up their children 10-14 hours later; for a preschool child this is almost their entire waking day, leaving the parents time enough to bathe and feed the child before sending them to bed to start over the next day.
I have also heard several mothers comment on how they work full time, are full time mothers, and know all about their children. I do not find this possible. My wife spends her day with our children, where I see them at lunch and in the evenings. I consider myself to know my children fairly well, but when we compare notes, I miss more than I would care to admit. I am not there for all the little advances like trying a new sound or learning to stand in the crib, I see it after it has happened. All of my children started saying da-da-da before ma-ma-ma (I don't know why), and then a short time later drop off the da-da-da. I miss so much already and I am very thankful that my wife has decided that she wants to be a full time mother first. It is no wonder that parents do not know their children (or that children do not know anything about their parents).
Another point that I find very scary is the cases in court where the grandparents are the day care and successfully sue for custody. It is only a small leap to say the day care fulfills all the roles of parents and to take over the guardianship of the children they keep. The only reason a day care cannot do this right now is financial, easily fixed by increasing a tax subsidy that has been in place for many years.
Who's raising our children? I can answer for me and my family, but I wonder if the day care workers were asked what the answer would be.
Some interesting things I have read in different forums lately.
ReplyDeleteOn packing lunches "For YDS (just tured two, have to pack him for daycare). They have stricter requirements. I need to provide dairy, meat, veg, fruit and whole wheat bread every day."
And they are totally ok that the daycare is telling them what their child should eat. (Not that it's an unhealthy meal or anything, but what if my child hates vegetables so I want to send two fruits?)
On Co-Sleeping/Family Bed "Being away from her ten hours a day for work has been indescribably difficult for me, and I really treassure the snuggle time at night to reconnect."
So you are trying to compensate for being away all day. Not for your child, but for you.
I know that being a stay at home parent is not possible in some families. But I think it is well worth the sacrifice in our family for me to be at home. Do I miss some of the extras? Yes, I do. But I wouldn't trade my ability to be with my children for things I can live without.
Your post seems to assume that the children are in day care 7 days per week. Sundays are great for sharing your religious beliefs with your children. It also assumes that the parents do not have any choices when it comes to selecting a day care provider and that all day care providers are alike. Point of fact: Many organizations provide day care including religious organizations, clubs, etc. Also many of these organizations have you provide the food that your child should eat. Most day care providers that I am familiar with are quite the opposite of the picture you paint. They celebrate holidays (Religious and other) and don't much care for what is PC. As I re-read your blog, I find I am taking exception to more and more of it. You say: "With almost no idealistic push at all, parents no longer have any say over morals, religion, ethics, skills, or any other traditional parenting role, this is being placed on the day care." When did anyone reliquish having a "say." Of course they have a say. they just choose not to say anything. There are hundreds of reasons for this but maintaining two jobs to keep their families above the poverty level and provide opportunities for their child as a result keeps most people quite busy.
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